Myths of Mindfulness: Follow your bliss

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DSC_0074There are a number of myths about the intent and practice of mindfulness. They tend to arise from the paradoxical nature of concepts and practice. On the one hand we teach that staying in the moment is important; yet we know we need to be forward-looking. In fact, the very reason we try the practice of mindfulness is to have a healthier future! We teach that mindfulness cannot be grasped through the intellect; yet we have handouts, practice logs and shelves filled with books about mindfulness practice. We ask our participants in the courses to listen to the wisdom of their body and be skeptical about their thoughts; yet we can only access that wisdom through our mind process. We say, “Let go of wanting to get to that endpoint!” Yet the taxes need to be done and the dishes washed.

Perhaps the hardest one to understand is that last one. It is a paradox between trusting our own experience which may tell us one thing and knowing we have obligations and responsibilities to meet. How do we practice self-awareness if in that process we have to set aside the needs of loved ones, friends and colleagues? How do we follow our bliss (a wonderful epitaph from the ’60′s) and not leave behind the people who are important to us?

This is really important to clarify and understand because the most frequently asked question in our information sessions and through the early classes reflects the fear that we will become lazy, navel-gazing zombies. So, let’s clarify some things around three mindfulness catch phrases.

Be in the moment – this is a favourite of most mindfulness students and likely the one that gets us in trouble the most. Of course, we can tease about which moment to be in but that is a reality; moments are not discrete. Often we hear it used as a way of not being in the moment; that is, not being in contact with what is unfolding. It is frequently used a way of saying, “I just want the pleasant stuff.” If the moment is painful or intense, it becomes confusing when we find we cannot stay in that particular moment. So what does it mean? In the practice of mindfulness, the moment and the experience are a single unit; one cannot and does not exist without the other. (Another way of saying this is “Time and Being are one and the same.”)  Being in the moment means holding a steady awareness of everything that is happening without rejecting or clinging to any one experience. Every experience (made up of an aggregate of sensations) is a source of information for making healthy decisions.

Let go – this is a tough one because it conveys the idea that whatever we’re letting go should go away. We talk about letting go of our anger or grief and feel frustrated when anger or sadness shows up. We try to “put things behind us” as a way of letting go then wonder why it’s always front and center in our lives. We practice dropping pencils held in our hands as an example of letting go or mime various actions that suggest the experience is moved away from our bodies. And we forget that the experience of anger or sadness is an embodied part of our being. In other words, it can no more be thrown away than we can take our brain out and put it on the shelf! How to meet this? Letting go is the process of opening ourselves to the experience we are having without engaging the old habits of judgmental thinking and self-criticism. What we are releasing is the habit of not permitting the experience to be just what it is. Sadness is sadness. When we try to reject that experience, we are in fact reinforcing and intensifying its presence with layers of thinking. If we can picture it as something we are clutching in the hopes of tossing it away like a baseball, letting go is the act of opening our hand and seeing it for what it is, all the sensations and thoughts that go with it.

Accepting what is – another tough one! Often we worry that accepting something is the same as being passive or staying a victim to our circumstances. We try to acknowledge that our job is difficult and our boss is abusive, knowing there may not be employment alternatives. We try to be open to the reality that our relationship is a challenge and worry that feeling lonely and isolated will be our lot. We look at things “as they are” and wonder how we are going to live the decades we have in our situation. Under all the soft words and practices, we may feel this is unacceptable! And it is; mindfulness is the awareness of what a situation is without getting caught in what we had hoped it would be. Acceptance is the practice of looking into our experience, our situation, and seeing all the dimensions in it. It is seeing it for what it truly is and not what we wish it was. The job is difficult. The boss is abusive. The relationship is a challenge. This is what it is. When we see it without a layer of self-judgment or wishing it was different, we are in a better position to make decisions because we haven’t been running in circles around questions of self-worth, shame or blame.

These three concepts are crucial to the practice of mindfulness. They are foundational in setting us on the path of making healthy and wise decisions for ourselves. As we learn to clarify our experiences through these disciplined views, we cultivate healthier relationships with others. And that may be both the true meaning and wonderful consequence of following our bliss.

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We are 10 Years old!

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Ten years ago, we (Frank Musten & Lynette Monteiro) were inspired by the development of Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (see Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for Depression: A new approach to preventing relapse by Zindel Segal, J. Mark Williams & John Teasdale; Guilford Press) and, after a brief correspondence with Dr. Segal, launched the Ottawa Mindfulness Clinic. It was a scary venture despite our experience as therapists and use of meditation in individual sessions as an adjunct to progressive muscular relaxation. We also were refining our experiences in the Buddhist community, learning more and more about the foundations of mindfulness, in particular the role of ethics in guiding lifestyle changes. The program took shape as a process of understanding the nature of “symptoms” which reflected our clinical training and interest in finding a way view psychological difficulties such as depression and anxiety as an interaction between internal and external sensation experiences.

The concepts of mindfulness were still new and not always welcomed by the medical and psychological communities then. So much has changed since! The first class started in May 2003 and was held in a conference room at the Riverside Hospital. It was so crowded – not because of a large enrollment but because of a three-piece horseshoe conference table that took up most of the space. When we did the Body Scan, some participants had to lie down with their legs out the door or under the table itself; one even lay down on top of the table. Still, despite the random sounds of walls and doors being drilled during the Awareness of Breath meditations, transformations occurred.

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The next year the OMC moved to a little space that resembled a very short bowling alley. Here, courses in Mindfulness-Based Symptom Management (MBSM) unfolded over many years. Participants joined us to learn how to breathe through physical and emotional pain, with joy and woe, in sickness and health. It was a joining ceremony in each class, meeting ourselves for the first time and embracing this stranger we had become. It didn’t matter whether we spoke of teacher or participant; change happened.

In 2008, we began the Teacher Training Program at the request of many colleagues. The focus on an Ethics-Based Mindfulness Program was appealing for many professionals who understood intuitively that healthy choices could only come out of a set of principles that directed those choices. The Five Skillful Habits, as the core of the OMC program, was innovative and participants as well as teacher trainees welcomed the idea that skillful choices cannot be left to a process of “just paying attention.”

The OMC moved into new space five years ago and now is composed of several wonderful teachers who facilitate courses in Core Mindfulness, Burnout Resilience, Self-Compassion for Health Care Professionals, Pain & Chronic Illness Management and who coach the Teacher Training Retreat. The OMC is also a Practicuum training facility for PhD candidates in Clinical Psychology at the School of Psychology, University of Ottawa.

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We have blessed with the generous involvement of the Ottawa community in creating this safe and quiet space where so much healing can happen.

Book-posterOur future is bright and exciting. Our book, Mindfulness Starts Here: An eight-week guide to skillful living, will be published soon and we look forward to continuing to offer our support and care to an ever-growing community of mindfulness practitioners.

Thank you for all you have done to make this a reality!

Advance Praise for “Mindfulness Starts Here” – Susan Bauer-Wu

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UoOHS-12NOV19Drs. Lynette Monteiro and Frank Musten have written a gem. This book will be a trusty companion to anyone taking a mindfulness-based stress reduction course or who chooses to independently explore mindfulness practices for an engaged and meaningful life. Mindfulness Starts Here is a practical and inviting guide that can help you to make positive changes in how you live your life, starting now.

Susan Bauer-Wu, PhD, RN, FAAN, Professor of Nursing and Religious Studies at the University of Virginia, author of Leaves Falling Gently: Living Fully With Serious & Life-Limiting Illness through Mindfulness, Compassion, and Connectedness

Dr. Bauer-Wu is a researcher, clinician and mindfulness teacher whose work in stress resilience and compassionate end-of-life care is highly respected. She teaches in training programs for mindfulness-based interventions, integrative medicine and contemplative care. A review of her book Leaves Falling Gently can be read here. A recent article explores her teaching on living with the stress of cancer and other serious illness; read part 1 and part 2.

Dr. Bauer-Wu is offering a retreat at Upaya Zen Institute in Santa Fe NM on CALM, CLARITY, AND COMPASSION in the Storm of Healthcare and Illness.

Advance Praise for “Mindfulness Starts Here”

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Book-poster

Each week, leading up to the release of our book, we will publish a review or comment from a respected mindfulness teacher.  We are so grateful for their support and encouragement.  

Mindfulness Starts Here is a groundbreaking contribution to the literature on mindfulness in therapy. It explicitly integrates mindfulness techniques into an ethical lifestyle of respect for our mortality and our limits, and for cultivating generosity, compassion, and mindful consumption. The words of these wonderful teachers embody the practice and, together with the companion CD’s, provide a comprehensive program for living fully throughout the ups and downs of our lives. When you’re ready, here’s the trustworthy place you need to begin.

Christopher Germer, PhD, Clinical Instructor, Harvard Medical School, author of The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion & co-editor of Wisdom and Compassion in Psychotherapy

Visit Christopher Germer’s website Mindful Self-Compassion for information on his retreats, books, audio meditations, and so much more.  Christopher Germer and Kristin Neff have launched a nice initiative as well: The Center for Mindful Compassion where they offer training in Mindful Self-Compassion, retreats, and other amazing work to support our practice.

Important article about PTSD

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Reblogged from Smiling Buddha Cabaret:

I get a lot of people searching this blog for information on PTSD. It’s one of the top search terms that leads people here. I don’t write about it much but have once in a while. That shows you the paucity of information out there if this obscure blog is one of the Google hits in the first few pages of listings.

Read more… 2,146 more words

This is an excellent resource about PTSD and some very good advice about mindfulness as an approach to treating it.

Public workshops by EIP on depression, anxiety, & OCD

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We are pleased to share these public workshops offered by our colleagues at Excellence in Practice.  Click on the poster links for more information.

Managing Depression: A CBT Workshop for Individuals with Depression, their Family and Friends
Dr. Connie L. Dalton, C.Psych
Ottawa Institute of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
Saturday, February 23, 2013
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Managing Anxiety: A CBT Workshop for Individuals with Anxiety, their Family and Friends
Dr. Dave Davies, C.Psych
Ottawa Institute of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
Saturday, April 6, 2013
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Managing Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD): A CBT Workshop for Individuals with OCD, their Family and Friends
Dr. John Telner C.Psych
Ottawa Institute of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
Saturday, May 25, 2013
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